grateful

The other day I was thinking about how big Oaklen is getting. I have been putting him in his 3 month outfits lately because they seem to fit him a little better. So I got to thinking that maybe I should see which of his younger outfits still fit him and which don't, and put the smaller ones away in storage. That about did it for me. I got such a sad feeling knowing that he is too big for his newborn clothes. Since when did he become a "baby" and not a "newborn"? I felt like time was flying past me and I started to realize that maybe I wasn't living up to each moment, or that I was taking time for granted. I felt like I should be spending every waking minute watching, playing, or holding him, because next week he was going to be that much older. Especially seeing all these new babies being born around me, I couldn't help but think "Oaklen used to be that small", or "I wish I could go back to that night he was born". I was completely heartbroken that he was growing so fast, and I would never have those minutes back again.

But then I thought of how grateful I am to be able to put his newborn clothes away and get out his bigger ones, because he is a healthy boy. I am grateful that he is a "baby" and not a "newborn" anymore, because he is learning. I am grateful that I can think back about his birth, because he's alive. And suddenly, I felt so much better. Not only is being a mom the best job I could ever ask for, but being his mom means the world.